The Blue Tempeh
Saturday, September 25, 2004
  THE DAY OF CORAL SEX TALK!
Today was the day the Sex-ed GURU, James would give his special talk on the WHO, WHAT, WHY, WHERE, WHEN and HOW corals do IT. To enlighten us common-folks to the beauty of the coral orgy, and teach you tips and tricks in the coral kamasutra that only he and a few previlaged others know about. YES, my friends, the DAY has arrived!

Dionne, our Public Talks officer, left first with all our precious loot for fund raising and Ria's wonderful posters boasting our rich and beautiful marine life here at our own Southern Shores.

The rest of us arrived at SIF where the talk was going to be held soon after. We got to seting up the booth, displaying the posters and preparing the handouts in a matter of minutes! MINUTES! M.I.N.U.T.E.S.!!!!! Impressive eh...

We were suppose to sell the squeaky marine themed toys that had been donated to us and the Chek Jawa guide books. And yes, proceeds of all sueaky toy sales will go to the Blue Water Volunteers (BWV)...


Our fund raising booth full of marine themed squeaky toys! Have you gotten yours yet?


The posters and Ria and Dionne.


...and...more posters, with coral survey results! Ain't it niceee.....


Before the talk started...


Even before 3.00 p.m., people started streaming in for James' talk. Must be the free porn. Everyone helped in the giving away flyers and talking to people about BWV and marine conservation. And even Weisong, our self-admited slave-on-loan from the RMBR Toddycats, came down to help set up and mend our booth!


Toddycats slave on loan to BWV.


By 3.15 p.m., the Asia room soon filled up and the James began his sex-ed talk. The talk covered the basic of the basics, such as what corals are, where they can be found etc. To the basics of what sex means to corals and which coral can have sex with which coral and what happens after the coral sex and what coral babies look like and where do coral babies go to and things of that sort. A regular science class, with a twist.


Start of the sex-ed class.


Then he went on to talk about Singapore. And how corals in Singapore, unlike Singaporean humans, are still extremely active in their baby-making rituals. While some corals have sex and make babies all through the year, other corals concentrate their resources for a mass orgy once, or maybe twice, a year. The biggest orgies occur in April, but smaller ones have been observed in October as well.

Corals too need the correct MOOD for this sort of thing. The most romantic period, according to corals, is usually 3-4 days after the late March or April full moon. The moon bright and roundish in the night sky when the sun has set, preferably 8-10 p.m.

So if you perverts and voyeurs out there want to peep on these corals making out, remember the conditions above, and you would hopefully see coral spawn...


James gave his excellent talk on CORAL SEX next....


The GURU was so knowledgable and inspiring that we also see some of our audience taking NOTES. Yes, taking N.O.T.E.S.


Diligent audience taking notes, while.......


......Ria just got excited with the coral porn!...And made ABBY eat plastic cuttlefish (see girl in background).


The talk soon ended after a show of really magnificent slides of coral spawning which James never showed us before. Dionne then promptly thanked James and presented him with a token of appreciation.


Fantastic talk James! Oooh.. that's US!! Well, most of us anyway.


We then mingled and talked to our guests while some of us tried to sell them squeaky toys for our fund-raising. Although not successful, we hope that we've talked to quite a few people today...


Dionne, our Public Talks Officer in action.


........and hope that next time, some kind-hearted soul will adopt FUGU, the death pufferfish, and give him a better home. And at the same time support our efforts in trying to conserve Singapore's rich marine life...


FUGU for SALE.


OTHER THINGS WE DID DURING THE TALK...


"SAVE ME!" squeals the cute anemonefish.


.........and THIS: HI GUYS, meet GILIAN, our Public Exhibitions Officer! Isn't she sweet? Aw.


And...Abygayle ****-Ng Pek Kaye (a.k.a Abby)


Oh, here's Gilian again...Aw. So shy.


And Gilian again...up close...and...urm...closer...


"...................."


a movie by Abby and the Fried Tempeh:
CARL the CUTTLEFISH in...KILLER WHALE VS. GREAT WHITE SHARK


"Lalalala, I'm swimming in the sea...I'm Carl the cuttlefish so delicious and yummy..."


As the little cute cuttlefish swim in the big blue ocean, two large predators happen to spot it.


Shark: GARRRRR!!! I shall EAT that cuttlefish!
Killer whale: MmmmMmm....that cuttlefish looks rather tasty, I say.



Shark: !!!


Killer whale: !!! !!! !!!


Shark: He's/she's/it's MINE!
Killer whale: NO!!! MINE!



MINE!!! NO MINE!!! MINE!!! NO!! Let go!!! OW, you got one of my tentacles!! Sharks have no tentacles?!!? NOO!! You got MY tentacle, THE CUTTLEFISH!!! LET GO!! YOU'RE MINE!! NO! You're MINE!! *&@#$%^


Shark & Killer whale together: NO!! MIINNEE!!! (slow-mo here)
The shark and the killer whale BOTH lunged at the squid at the same time and....



....as they lunged forth, they collided into one another and due to the play of forces, pressure and other unknown factors, the cuttlefish got spit out of their mouths and the shark and the killer whale, sunk their teeth into one another instead...


AND...CUT!!!! And THAT's how the CUTTLEFISH that we are selling to raise funds for the Blue Water Volunteers has only SEVEN arms instead of EIGHT. Count it the next time we have a booth. Really. No kidding.

Everything that you see and read here is purely fictional and hold no facts whatsoever. Except that the CUTTLEFISH we are selling, DOES have seven tentacles instead of eight!!

And by...........


.....5.08 PM.....


.......everthing ended and we're all packed up and ready to go.....Till next time!


SEEYA ALL NEXT TIME!!

 
Comments:
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